The Proposal

So... yesterday I got engaged to the love of my life. I'm seriously on cloud nine and don't know what to do with myself. I keep looking at the ring to remind myself it actually happened, we're actually getting married!!!! And because I had the BEST proposal EVER!!! And because I know everyone always wants to hear how it happened I decided to put it on this blog that I never write on so I can go into as much detail as I want and add pictures.

So in September Mason said he started to think of ideas of how to propose and he thought of the Notebook because that's my favorite movie and he thought of the boat scene that's so iconic. So my man decided to build me A BOAT!!!! Yepp, you heard that right, a boat :) He said it was daunting and at times really frustrating but man ohhh man it is the prettiest thing you'll ever see!!

So yesterday was Sunday the 27th of October and it was any normal day, I went to church, but Mason wasn't there. He told me had had a ton of homework but I could come over after church. (Little did I know he was actually finishing the boat). A week before he had asked for my dad's permission to marry me, my parent's being the parents they are, recorded it so that we can have it to listen to (I listened to it last night and couldn't stop crying, it's a special moment not many girls get to hear, a talk between their boyfriend and their father. I am grateful that I know have those special times recorded to listen to) Anyways.... so after church I went over to his house and I did not suspect a thing! He was acting completely normal and nothing out of the ordinary. We watched Psych :), went downtown and got some food, walked around and talked, it was just a normal day, then he had to run some errands (now I see that he was stalling until it was time) but we went around doing a few things and he kept commenting on the sunset. I reminded of him of the time we watched the sunrise and he said we should watch the sunset. In my mind I thought, this would be the prettiest time to get engaged. So we drove to upper Bidwell Park and still I had nooo idea! Little did I know Pierce and Chandler had driven there earlier to put the boat in the spot and make sure everything went smoothly. We got out of the car and started walking down the path, I meanwhile was talking about the one time I caught a fish and then we cut it's head off and skinned it and what not. He wasn't talking at all and he starting taking me off the path and down to the water and I started to wonder what was going on. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me gently, "Leah, I think it's time for you to stop talking now."He turned me and I saw behind the tree the most beautiful exquisite boat I've ever seen!!!!!!!!!! I saw my name on it and instantly started crying!!! The sun was setting, there was hardly any one out there, I was there with my man and he had made me a boat, I couldn't stop crying! It was all so perfect!

This is what I saw when I looked past the tree. IS THAT NOT PERFECT?!?!?!? Here's another picture!

He then turned to me and asked me if I was ready, I was crying sooo much but was able to mumble out a yes as he helped me into the boat. Once we were both in he proceeded to tell me that this was the first time the boats been on water so he wasn't 100% sure if it would float or not. I could have cared less, everything was just so surreal and perfect. He rowed us out into the middle of the lake and we sat there in peace and he proceeded to tell me all this wonderful, mushy, gushy stuff. He told me he thought he would be nervous, but he felt so much peace because he's never been so sure of anything in his life. I proceeded to cry more (if that's possible). He asked me to stand up (luckily the boat was wide so we didn't rock) and he got down on one knee, pulled out the ring and asked me to marry him! I said YES of course :) and went down to hug him, forgetting we were on a boat so I quickly had to sit back down as we sat there laughing and crying and he put the ring on my finger. We sat in the middle of the lake for a good 10 minutes just enjoying the moment, talking and laughing, enjoying the most magical and beautiful moment of my life. He rowed us back to shore, we got out of the boat and he said, now are you ready for the next part? I thought he meant marriage so of course I said yes. He then proceeded to tell me there was a party waiting for us to celebrate. I was absolutely taken aback!!! We got in the car and prayed together. By the time we were driving back most of the crying had stopped and I was finally able to find words and kept jumping in my seat squealing!!! I couldn't believe that I was now engaged to Mason Philip Jaynes!! <3

We showed up at Jeff's parents house and as we walked up to the door I started crying and so he opened the door and in we walked to friends and family yelling congratulations! I was awestruck! The place was completely decorated, I had family and friends who had come from out of town! There were desserts and drinks, flowers, decorations, so much love and so much support! We talked with some people and then they had us sit down to tell the proposal story and afterwards they prayed over us. I have never felt so loved by so many people. Even today I am humbled by everyones words of encouragement and love towards Mason and I!!! The rest of the night consisted of more laughter, tears of joy, screaming and all around love. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect proposal, but more importantly I couldn't have asked for a better fiancé! A man so rooted in Christ, who is funny, loving, adventurous, and my best friend. I am overcome with emotion and I am excited to be able to enjoy this time of engagement and I can't wait to celebrate with everyone the big day when we become husband and wife!!! <3 <3

Here are some more pictures of the night!!

Everyone wanted pics of the newly engaged couple!! <3

My best friend Rosie and I!! I am so blessed by her love and support!!! <3

My roommate from college drove from Simpson after a soccer game just to be there for the celebration!!!

The people who did all the decorations and planning!!! <3 <3

I was so excited!! <3

Lydia's super excited to have a brother!!! <3 <3

We are SOOOO thankful and so overjoyed!!! Thank you for all the love and support from everyone!!! <3 <3 The future Mr. and Mrs. Jaynes <3

It's not about you

Sometimes I wonder if people really understand Christ’s reason for coming to Earth. I’m not talking about unreached people, I’m talking about the people who proclaim Christ as their Savior, the people we sit next to in church, the ones we have Bible study with weekly. Because it seems to me (and I fall into this as well) that we see it as Christ came, died for US, adopted in into HIS family, and now offers us eternal life and now we can sit back and relax. All we have to do is read our Bibles, sing songs at church, be a nice person and it’s all good cause God loves us and now we can enjoy our time on Earth since we’ve been saved.

WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!!!!

Please tell me the last time you read the Bible and it said this life was all about us living a life of comfort and leisure. A life where God would never make anything bad happen to us and all we have to do is stay in his good graces. Last I heard, IT’S ALL ABOUT CHRIST! It may seem as if I’m very passionate about this and maybe even a little harsh, but you know what, it’s because I think we as a church have gotten it wrong. I think we so often forget that this is not about us, my life is not about me getting my dream job, or dream car, or only having 2 kids that way I can spoil them rotten, or partying our life away with the mindset that Jesus will forgive us in the morning. Our lives are to be a reflection of Christ. Our marriages are to be a reflection of Jesus and his bride. Our families are to represent the heart of adoption that God has for us as his children. We are to be a servant to all, to lay our lives down, as Christ did, whatever the cost. Jesus paid attention to those that the disciples easily missed or looked over and brushed off, who in our own lives are we brushing off? Thinking, they’re weird I don’t want to be associated with them, they’re too far from saving, it’s not my job to take care of them, or they got themselves in that mess it’s their own fault.

Now you may be wondering, what sparked this passionate fiery (actually I’m always passionate and fiery) blog post? Well, since the day I was born I have had a heart for the orphaned both physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And I am always up for conversation with people to talk about God’s heart for the lost and broken and I’m always curious to see people’s view on adoption and such. So one woman I was talking to recently, I asked her about adoption and her views. She was pro adoption, which made me happy but her views left me dumbfounded. She said if she were ever to adopt it would only be a national adoption (which is totally fine! Just hear me out on my point) because she wouldn’t want to take a child from another country because she didn’t want them to be stripped away from their culture, language and their own people. For those of you who look for an argument or a flaw in conversation, I would like to point out that yes I understand there are some countries that do not allow outside adoption for that very reason. Such as Cambodia. Now if there is an obvious wall up, that the government has set up and it’s not a heart issue then yes, maybe we should honor Cambodia’s decision in not allowing outside adoptions and instead intercede for Christian families to rise up within the nation to take care of the lost children within their country.

As for me I think it is possible to be a great parent to someone of an opposite culture, as long as you are willing to work at it. (There are many ways in doing so such as either moving your family to that specific country so they child will grow up in that atmosphere or even bringing them back to the States, but in doing so reminding them of where they came from, that that is special and unique encouraging them to research their home country and to pray for it daily. You can cook ethnic food in order to give your child a taste of what they would be missing or learning about the countries history or listening to their music etc. It’s not entirely impossible.) If God calls you to adoption and you come up with excuses such as money, you heard it was hard or the cultural or obvious physical difference then what do you think Christ was thinking when he came and died for us? I’m pretty sure God wasn’t up there thinking, ehh maybe I shouldn’t send my son for them, they disobey and don’t always listen to what I tell them. They’re very stubborn and there are so many of them it would be hard to reach them all, and there are so many languages how is it even possible. NO! Of course not! God in all his might love and compassion sent his only son to die for us, ALL OF US! Even when we walk away, even when we disobey and rebel, even though we are all different both in language, our color of skin and our cultures, he loves it all, he embraces us all. And I think THAT is the picture the church is suppose to be. Not just a place where people come to hear a good story and sing, but a place where the broken and weary are welcomed not shunned and judged, a place where families understand the importance of adoption and where a heart for the nations is born. Jesus came as a servant, not a king to be served, but to serve. So this life, that we’re living, right now, shouldn’t it look like that? Stopping for the one, doing whatever it takes to show the love of Christ.

I know for me I will never forget, while I was in Uganda and we were in town and I saw another American family. Of course I ran over with excitement not even knowing who they were and asked what they were doing. I noticed the couple was fairly young, in their early 30’s, they had three adorable children yet even more surprisingly they were pushing a Ugandan baby in a stroller. So being the person I am, I asked them, is this a child you are adopting? And of course the answer was an excited yes. They said they felt a call from the Lord to adopt, yet they felt like it wasn’t wise because they were young they already had three children and adoption cost tens of thousands of dollars and even more discouraging was the adoption agency they were going with required that the adoptive families live in the country for a year with the child before taking them back home. But they couldn’t shake the feeling that this was what God had called them to, they shared with me God’s heart for adoption, and that it was our job as a church to rise up and care for those around us, even if it meant spending a year in a third world country for a child they didn’t even know. They said when they finally made the decision, they would do whatever it took to make sure that baby became a part of their family, including leaving their comfortable lives and moving to Uganda for a year waiting for a baby. What a picture a sacrificial love. Are we willing to do what it takes in order to be the hands and feet of Jesus? Are we willing to leave our comfort zone and perfect little lives in order to serve and be a light and witness to those around us?? Because if we as a church don’t love the unloved and show them the love of Christ, then who will?

-soul searcher

Reality People

So lately I’ve been realizing my goal in life is to make people feel uncomfortable, to make them squirm in their seats and to make them rethink how they are living life. 

For instance, lately with the release of The Hunger Games and in a few months the premiere of Catching Fire I’ve heard a lot of people complaining and being surprised that a book that violent has become such a success. So to those people I hear complain about how inhumane the book is and how inappropriate it is, I simply see it as an opportunity to strike them with reality. Because the truth is, child soldiers are real. Sure the Hunger Games is a fictional story in a different land and time, but the idea of child soldiers is not something new. In fact currently there are estimated 250,000 children around the world who are taken against their will, taken away from their families, some used to kill their own families, and then forced to live a grueling, fearful and painful life. 

So for those of you that keep bashing this ‘hypothetical world where children are used to fight to the death against other children’ use that anger to drive you to support a cause that is fighting to save REAL child soldiers.

-soul searcher

Sleep

Sleep. We all do it, we all need it, but why is it that I struggle with it?

I don’t struggle with sleeping, once I’m asleep I am OUT, I can sleep for 12 hours multiple days in a row. However every night, without fail I lay in bed tossing and turning, my brain acts as an internet window that has hundreds of tabs open, I crave running, I’m hungry, everything in me says get up it’s not time to sleep there’s too much to think about. WHY BRAIN?? Why must I contemplate the meaning of life at 1 am in the morning? It makes waking up for work so difficult, even on days when I am barely making it through, walking around like a zombie, as soon as my head hits the pillow my brain goes, yay forget sleep let’s stay up late.

And most of all you may be wondering, what are you thinking about at 1 am in the morning? Honestly sometimes I don’t even know, maybe it’s about a funny pin I saw on pinterest, or trying to dissect something someone said to me, but the majority of the time, my brain swarms with pictures of far away lands, people who I have never met, new and exotic foods and the undying need to find justice in the world. 

And so I have come to the conclusion that I was meant for another country, because obviously my body is naturally meant for another time zone. I think I will keep that answer for my sleeping problems. Sleeping problems? What sleeping problems? I was just meant to live on the other side of the globe.

P.S. I realize this is totally illogical but bear with me as I navigate this life and continue to figure out who I am and who God has called me to be, even if it means sleepless nights dreaming of the future

-soul searcher

         Today, more than most days, I am missing the land of red dirt, squatty potties and the children who changed my life forever. Growing up as a TCK (third-culture kid) I had a difficult time understanding who I was and where I belonged, for I am not just one culture, but a soul made up of multiple nations, a melodious mixture of cultures, customs and languages. I don’t know which language is my mother tongue, I do not know what culture or customs I favor or feel I belong, yet the day I stepped off the plane and my feet planted themselves in Uganda, I knew my soul had found it’s home. There was a song in my heart that I could now not only hear, but also understand. There I was, an American girl, of Norwegian descent, who grew up in South America with a heart who longed for the plains of Africa. The sound of monkeys scurrying about woke me in the mornings, the sound of rats and bats screeching along the boards of the roof kept me up at night, yet with each sunrise and sunset there was a peace in me I had never felt.

        Yet it was not just the majestic beauty of the land that captured my heart, but the sheer magnificent radiance of the people who spoke to me in a language that I for once finally understood. With a simple hug, smile or kind touch I began to understand what love truly was, it was not defined by the fact that we were two people of different places, of different people, of different languages and cultures, for none of that mattered. In the eyes of a child I was just another friend, another soul to share in the joys of laughter.  Until the day that I am able to arrive back “home”, I will continue to hold and treasure in my heart the feeling of true contentment, not just in life, but in myself, that God had put another piece of the puzzle together in my life and had revealed to me truths that I will continue to marvel at until the day I die. But as for now, I will cherish these memories and know that I for one have been created to love and to love unconditionally.

-soul searcher