Sleep

Sleep. We all do it, we all need it, but why is it that I struggle with it?

I don’t struggle with sleeping, once I’m asleep I am OUT, I can sleep for 12 hours multiple days in a row. However every night, without fail I lay in bed tossing and turning, my brain acts as an internet window that has hundreds of tabs open, I crave running, I’m hungry, everything in me says get up it’s not time to sleep there’s too much to think about. WHY BRAIN?? Why must I contemplate the meaning of life at 1 am in the morning? It makes waking up for work so difficult, even on days when I am barely making it through, walking around like a zombie, as soon as my head hits the pillow my brain goes, yay forget sleep let’s stay up late.

And most of all you may be wondering, what are you thinking about at 1 am in the morning? Honestly sometimes I don’t even know, maybe it’s about a funny pin I saw on pinterest, or trying to dissect something someone said to me, but the majority of the time, my brain swarms with pictures of far away lands, people who I have never met, new and exotic foods and the undying need to find justice in the world. 

And so I have come to the conclusion that I was meant for another country, because obviously my body is naturally meant for another time zone. I think I will keep that answer for my sleeping problems. Sleeping problems? What sleeping problems? I was just meant to live on the other side of the globe.

P.S. I realize this is totally illogical but bear with me as I navigate this life and continue to figure out who I am and who God has called me to be, even if it means sleepless nights dreaming of the future

-soul searcher